Written by David Bosworth
Over the past few years companies like Universal and Warner Bros have tried and failed in their attempts at “re-imagining” the classic children s tale. Now, in my eyes you either get Quentin Tarantino in to rip the face off it or you go home. You don’t mess with Disney! They ran that shit! Let’s have a look over them shall we?
“Red Riding Hood” starring Amanda Seyfried (Mamma Mia) was ridiculous. It jumped on the “Twilight” bandwagon going after teenage girls and smiley winky faces and panned as a movie! “Snow White and the Huntsman” starring Kristen Stewart (Twilight!) and Chris Hemsworth (Thor) did a little bit better, learning from Red’s mistakes. It got a better cast. Made it more watchable. Still tried to make it too much like an epic fantasy movie though. That and Kristen Stewart is as wooden as a plank when it comes to “acting”.
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters delivers as a movie. Not as a children s tale. Christ, its a children s tale that’s not meant for children! Tom Wirkola (Dead Snow) writes and directs with Jeremy Renner (Avengers Assemble) and Gemma Arterton (Clash of the Titans) as siblings Hansel & Gretel. The tale tells the back story of them being left in the woods by their parents and they come across a house made of Reese’s or something. Queue scary as hell witch that sounds like the aliens from “Signs” and a hot oven. They kill the witch and grow up leading a life as notorious Witch Hunters that kick ass and then set fire to it. They go to a town that’s got a lot of missing kids and get hired to find where they are and bring them back. The local sheriff gets his knickers in a twist though and hires his own witch hunters who get killed way too easily by Famke Janssen (X-Men)’s Grand Witch who’s got her own plans for the children as the “Blood Moon” approaches.
With great scripting and writers involved this movie is the best adaptation of a children’s tale I’ve seen in a long time. Its adult. It’s got big ass guns, boobs, ass, swearing, fight scenes, comedy, chocolate and Gemma Arterton’s cleavage. No wonder Will Ferrell wanted to be involved as a producer!
In cinemas now.
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