My Eyes...

[Teflon John..]

Worded missles engage..Expressing verses through rage..Every thought of mind is twisted into phrase...Compiled into walls building an endless maze..speaking through verbal agressions..Using my words as my weapons..releasing fire when I'm stressin..Verses grasping the concept of complexity, casting an enedless hex on me..a curse of defiance to those who mention my name..Compiling an Alliance of words to clinch the flame..I cease to mention fame..For its the key that unlocks the door of corruption..Never speaking upon issuses with no clear assumptions..Disputing on if I should speak on those who talk without clear thoughts..Considering the verses you people "spit" are simple mere "coughs"..Your drops contain no feeling of real meaning..Alwayz braggin about your skills or your rhymes that you're dealing..Every word spoken just reflects the image of your immaturity..The realness of life was never taught just burned into me..It's like an endless sea, currents of flowing emotions..Displaying what I think without blowing into commotion..But who's to say you were chosen, who's to say you're the best?..Is real talent really recognized through the words in this text?..That's bullshit, your simple minds don't even fucking realize..That your shit is garbage yet still manages to fill eyes..You have no ways to kill crys..I simply express what I believe..Speaking through stress..but never known to discieve..Those "quotes" around your rhymes cease to be needled..Its funny how you don't know eachother..but conflicts are always heated...To all you cocky son of a bitches you definately need this..You're not as good as you think but your attitude remains sleepless..Always braggin,claiming you're above average..Well say hello to the fucking truth exposing Maverick..Through this vocabulary my thoughts are rendered clear..Never hindered by fear, talking to distant ears..Are you really afriad of losing, or simply being ended with tears?..This concept may be hard to grasp..But my words are never guarded by the mask..Never losing this stance..I speak what I want weather you give a fuck to glance..

[Stu]

That was tight man, wish you would space your lines out though.
Good rhymin, nice vocab and depth. You have definately stepped your topical game up. I got some competition, lol.
Good drop.
One

[Teflon John..]

Thanks for the feedback..and yeah I have trouble finding a structure that suits me well..

[LowRider]

Damn man you need to structure your work its real hard to read...

You got a nice effect with your flow if im following it properly, short lines but they hitting hard every 2 or 3 seconds at the beginning. Moves onto longer lines which is better in the middle part of the drop which i think makes the flow a little easier. Towards the end you shorten the lines again, so least you got structure in that sense.

The multis and rhyming were dope all along the track man, its hard to keep that consistancy up but you seemed to do it well. Vocab was aight as well, nothing new but the way you arranged it was different so its cool.

Next step up would be to arrange the verse better, so its easier to flow to.. possibly keeping your bars the same length, depending on what effect you want to give, Nice though man im liking it, maybe a contender for drop of month?

Flow - 7/10
Vocab - 8/10
Rhyming - 8/10
Multis - 8/10
Complexity - 7.5/10

Overall - 7.5/10

[Kruwl aKa Isodope]

this was real nice, but work on your structure. you have a lot of potentual and this shows it all 8/10

[D.s.G.]

Yeah, the structure was kinda fucked, but your rhymes have potential, you got a nice flow going on too, show off a little more!

7/10

[BOFH1971]

everyone's said what needs saying
written layout

and dont just try and find one style that suits practise whatever you write
over and over until its tight

ooh nearly did one there eh guys?

but from what I seen , keep recording your efforts and you will hear the improvements

[Jay2c]

nice stuff man.
as sed before it could be improved by structure

[Marshal]

loving that man,just structure it better!! pc

[Decguin]

damn it tef.. how the hell do you expect me to be able to read that shit?!??! lol.. seriously man.. go back in and set that shit out more so i can read it.. it looks like one big paragraph.

[Teflon John..]

^^Every reply you make to a thread is one big paragraph..you should be able to read them by now lol...

Just read it..it's iLLy.