YALL KNOW WHO...peep an leave feed

[ThE LyRiCaL PrOpHiT]

(to the keepin it gangsta beat)
CHORus:Yall know who...killin these wankstas...../
when i come thru mi keepin it gangsta..../

Verse 1:
yo the livin legend the LP/
always come first never second youll see/
always spittin a verse cetchin the beat/
off its gaurd while im scratch down this heat/
ya some say writtins for fools/
look at this wordplay yours couldnt even be fixed wit tools/(haha)
no need for punchs on every line/
why dont yall hit them lyrical crunchs,an buff up yo ryhmes/(haha)
feel me this real/
dudes wanna kill me look im still/
pushin the hottest lyrics from day ta day/
rushin these suckas blastin they way/
no reason for the stainless no need for the heat/
my kills remani nameless loakin in these streets/

CHORUS X2

Verse 2:
yo look i left the game an came back better than ever/
wit a pritty dame hot like a summer day an she wearin a sweater/
i left the game in debt an came back as the debtor/
but i aint gunna play i came for the chedder/
thats right chumps im comin back for my paper/
wit a flow an a pump im the life an pride raper/
feel me i cant be touched/
but when you hear me yellin be sure ta tuck/
cuz im gunna expload an shells wil start flyin/
im walkin this raod dnot tell cuz i anit lien/

(haha leave me some feed on what yall think thanks,oh ya heres my url)http://hip-hopkings.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=747

[LowRider]

Just edit the link and its all good ;)

Definately and audio drop, i had the beat in my head and it flowed pretty nicely. You got most of the rhyming sorted, could have stepped the vocab up a little. Fab includes plenty of multis so you do the same, makes the rhyming and flow better, plus gets you props for using them.
Keep elevating and steppin up mayne.

[ThE LyRiCaL PrOpHiT]

thanks man ima try that in my next one http://hip-hopkings.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=670

[Stu]

Same as the normal feedback. Take your time when you write and step up on your writing and all the aspects.
One