first poem peep...

[ThE LyRiCaL PrOpHiT]

http://hip-hopkings.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=926
haha never done a poem before let me give it a shot

yo ma where you
cant believe i let you be
cant believe you cant see
im the one for you...your boo

why leave why do it?
dont even know
im losin my flow
you saw it you knew it

i loved you for so long
so many times
so many fake lines
to many love songs

to much hurt
to much pain
things aint the same
feel lower than dirt

you just upped an walked
no time to explain
no song to be sang
no time to talk....

gone.....

~1~

[chick rummy]

yeah that was good.. for ur first poetry piece right?

[ThE LyRiCaL PrOpHiT]

ya it was actually fun but i aint gunna do anymore but i kinda wanna see more from you

[chick rummy]

lol.. ok why arent u going to drop anymore? hmmmmmmm
yeah i got more on da way..

[ThE LyRiCaL PrOpHiT]

i got audio ma text aint me no more haha kinda excited bout to blow this site up wit em

[Stu]

Ehh not bad man, for a first attempt.
One

[LudaCHRIS]

it was kind of confusing, the lack of explanation within the lines didnt really help, u need to make the lines a lil more solid so we kno wut ur actually feeling, i like the way u ended it tho, that def is good in a first peice if u already have an idea of how to end it alright, cuz its the last impression u leave with the reader.. otherwise it was ok for a first peice, u shouldnt stop writing poetry tho.. audio is good but never give up on text too cuz u always can resort back to it after, u could be real good if u kept at it

[TiNy_ThUg_cHiCk187]

hhmm.. i i liked it...

NuFF SaiD...

~1~